Tying Some Crazy Thoughts Together

Lately I’ve been posting what to some must seem like some really strange subject matters.  To provide a little evidence for what I’ve been talking about, I would like you all to listen to a talk given by a Harvard neuroanatomist, giving a detailed description of what happened to her when she had a giant stroke in the left hemisphere of her brain.

First off, she describes that our brain has two separate hemispheres, a left and a right side, each which perform different functions.  I’m going to try to put it all in language which will help you understand the concepts I’ve been talking about in my latest posts.

She describes that her left hemisphere is responsible for analytical thinking, for language processing, and dividing up the world into separate pieces.  It’s also responsible for our sense of “I”.  It gives you the feeling that you are your body, that you are separate from your environment, and that one thing is different from another thing.  It perceives individual objects.  It gives rise to our sense of time.  Since it divides reality up into objects, it also processes how those objects change from one state to another, and builds up a timeline of our lives.  It is also responsible for reflecting on the past and making predictions and plans for the future.

The right side of your brain perceives reality all at once.  All of your sensory data feed into it and it explodes into a giant collage of color, movement, sound, taste, and everything else.  It lives completely in the present moment.  It has no sense of time; also, with no sense of time it has no need to produce negative emotion due to things like worry.  What’s there to worry about in an eternal present?  It just perceives reality from a particular vantage point in space (your location in the universe) and enjoys what it sees.

Now it’s fascinating to listen to Dr. Taylor describe what happened as she underwent a giant stroke in her left-hemisphere.  She lost all sense of ego.  She was no longer “Dr. Jill Taylor”.  She was everything she perceived.  She was the walls, she was the couch, she was the kitchen table, the phone, everything.  There was no clear delineation where “she” started and where she ended.  Her arms, legs, and body were just atoms in the room, just like everything else.  She just perceived the room and everything in it, all as one thing, and it was beautiful.  She was at total peace, just enjoying it all, without a care in the world.

However, then her left hemisphere would kick back in for a second and would tell her, “You’re in trouble.  You need to call for help.”  But then the stroke would return and she’d go back to this peaceful all at one feeling of just being present in the room.

So let me describe all of this in the context of everything I’ve been talking about in my latest blog posts.  Your conscious essence, for whatever reason, seems to be attached to activity in your brain, so long as the brain keeps up certain patterns of electrical activity.  If those patterns are disrupted, either by hallucinogenic drugs, or by stroke, or by some sort of physical damage, or whatever, consciousness seems to be able to leave and pop out of the body  (if we are to believe millions of people’s accounts from near death experiences).

The right side of your brain is closer to the true “you”.  We are the universe observing itself from a particular vantage point.  We’re all one in a hard to describe way.  That vantage point is created by the brain firing patterns found within the right hemisphere.

And to remind you, the other half, our left hemisphere, is looking at the sensory data coming in, processing it into separate things, including our own sense of self, time, past, and future, and also creating emotions of worry; this is due to self-preservation instincts which are hard-wired to obsess over keeping this fictitious ‘self’ hallucination alive.

So what happens when both the left and the right hemispheres die?  Going off of studying all these NDE accounts, you will go back to being pure consciousness, experiencing all space and time, and all possibilities from any vantage point based on your intention.  Your consciousness is no longer locked to the activity in the brain.  And apparently, in that state, you reconnect with God, which is the source, the fount, the essence bringing it all into being.  It is some sort of power, intelligence, and everything that is, was, or ever will be, all put together.  You become that, it becomes you, time stops, and all possibilities lay there with you.  You know everything, you are everything, and you just exist in some “perfect” state (their words).

Like take this NDE account.  This woman was in the hospital room, in quite a lot of pain, and the right side of her brain started to fail.  Her consciousness is losing its connection with our Earthly plane.  The Great One (God, whatever you want to call It), then communicates with her.  It basically asks her if it’s fine to disconnect her conscious essence from her brain.  Having a conscious connection to our physical brains in this Earthly plane seems to have been our choice.  She tells God she wants to separate and God cuts the “cord” so to speak, and she awakens back to her truest form, existing side by side with God, in this perfect state, along with all other “minds” that are there as well; the timeless, perfect plane of all possibilities which I just described.

Now this woman’s account is fascinating.  It held a seminal key for me in understanding aspects of what consciousness may be.  So ok, she’s all possibilities in this timeless state.  Then, while connected with God, the source, she explicitly thinks the thought, “Ok, so what’s next?”  Then it responds to her wish.  This is when some sort of decision process of what will be next starts to unfold.  The pure perfect timelessness ENDS, and she starts experiencing waves of possibility.  As each wave oscillates into existence, she experiences it and becomes aware of it.  In her exact words, she “became” the current wave that oscillated into existence around her.  Then she didn’t seem to want to become that one, so another wave comes, and another wave, and another wave.

If this can be believed, it immediately makes me think of quantum mechanics.  In that, we calculate these wave-functions which describe probabilities for all these possibilities that can happen, but we have no way of knowing which possibility will be “chosen” by reality.  This woman is describing the process at its highest levels.  Apparently it’s linked to conscious intention of what you want to experience next, just as I have always expected. Though I imagine if you get intertwined in a reality where multiple observers are involved it gets a little more complicated, which may be why our direct intentions and desires don’t immediately manifest on command.

But for example, when people first die, and aren’t really aware of what’s going on yet, their intentions are manifesting instantaneously.  They think, “I want to be in this room”, or “I want to be near this loved one”, or “I want to hear this conversation”, and it immediately manifests and they’re aware of what they wanted to know or experience.  But then shortly thereafter the Great One seems to come to pick them up and bring them back to the source, the “root”.  It also seems to describe why people can have hell-like NDEs.  If they die in a chaotic, angry, crazy state of mind, they may end up conjuring up some really nasty things from the void.  But even people who died in warzones, suicides, and drug overdoses, even in those crazy states of mind, most of them end up with God at the source experiencing total peace and perfection.  So I really don’t know.

It’s almost like we’re a sort of “room” that contains all possibilities, and all the possibilities are encoded in waves.  It certainly lines up with all the physics I know.  Quantum mechanics is all waves.  All the physics I’ve ever studied can all be broken down into waves.  I was just really fascinating that she described it as waves, which is exactly how string theory, quantum field theory, and all physics describes “the void”.  It’s exactly that.

But I don’t know.  I’m just speculating here.  I might as well continue.  Maybe someone will find my speculations interesting?

Take Terrence Mckenna’s experience.  He filled his brain with hallucinogenic drugs (basically, neurotransmitters which alter firing rates of neurons), and then listened to the constant hum of an electrical heater.  What happened?  That frequency seemed to be sync’d with some other nearby reality, and off he went into the Lizard Land.  So what may be happening there?

I’m still trying to figure that out.  My PhD research is on sending waves through biological materials, such as the skull.  If only I could finish that up, build a helmet I could put on, then alter the signals in my brain activity and see if I could tune into different realms like that.  (I know, it sounds insane, but I’m actually wanting to do it.)  I’d have far more precision than what Mckenna was crudely doing. I’m guessing that I could and it makes me wonder how many realms might be out there!  But as Dr. Taylor points out in her TED talk, the right hemisphere’s brain activity is producing this vantage point in space and time.  So altering that with extra neural transmitters, changing firing rates, and then sending waves into the brain at a certain frequency, you’re changing the observer vantage point to another location.  I’m guessing it’s like tuning a radio to a particular station.  Mckenna somehow ended up in the Reptilian dimension.

But anyways, as for the other stuff I’ve been writing lately, particularly about silencing the inner chatter in my skull, that’s mainly about paying less attention the fictitious “ego” self created by my left hemisphere.  The excessive worrying about the future, the critical voice evaluating the “quality” of everything I observe, the voice in my head always expressing negativity, and all that, it’s just isn’t serving me well lately.  There’s nothing wrong with the left-hemisphere or its workings.  It’s just I’ve put too much trash in my mind and it’s spitting trash back out at me.  It needs cleaned up.  It’s all a work in progress, like anything else I guess.  As Dr. Taylor specifically says, you don’t need to live in the left brain; you can step out of it.  That’s what guys like Alan Watts, Sadhguru, and other eastern lecturers have been teaching me.

A thought I’ve had a lot lately is, “Everything is fine.”  It’s just that the more I look into all of this, whether it be from the perspective of physics, or from neuroscience, or even studying accounts of dying people, it seems to point toward the sorts of conclusions I’ve been drawing in this post.  I see infinite possibilities, that the self I know as “Jason” is a temporary illusion, and it’s all just a particular possibility I’ve taken on.  I see that time is an illusion made by me navigating this giant superposition of possibilities, and so on.  Everything is fine.  The “real” me is totally fine and always will be.  The same with all of you.

Or maybe I’m just totally losing it?  But, I have to confess, I was lead here by the evidence as best I understand it all, and believe me, I don’t understand much of any of this stuff.  Maybe I’m missing critical things and I’m way off the mark.  Probably so, what do I know?  But hey, this is fun stuff.  It’s a whole lot of fun.  I’ll keep studying cosmology, quantum field theory, and neuroscience.  Who knows, maybe I’ll be successful and create that brain helmet and actually test this idea.  Then I’d really know.  Maybe that’s what I should do?  Make that my life mission.  What else do I have to do?  -shrugs-

Sounds interesting.  Maybe I’ll do that.

Some people say that this sort of thinking makes you devalue your life here on Earth because you’re focusing on the perfect realm in the afterlife.  I don’t come to that conclusion at all.  If that were the case, then why’d I ever come here to begin with?  There must’ve been some reason.  If anything, this line of thinking makes me much more adventurous and open to new experiences.  I have far less fear.  I’ve found it enriching and reality has an even deeper sense of awe and wonder.  I feel more like a circus acrobat.  Thinking this way I envision a safety net down below, so that even if I “miss” the super-triple back flip I’m about to attempt, it’ll be alright.  Worst that happens is I end up back at the source.  But there’s no need to rush there.  Let’s see if I can accomplish the trick.  Also, since I’m less worried about death, I feel I’m far more likely to rush into a burning building to save someone, or take a bullet to save someone nearby, or even fight to the death to protect someone if terrorists were attacking a crowd.  There’s a peace inside that says, “It’s going to be ok.”

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