I was wondering if you’d indulge me your thoughts on dealing with an unrequited love with a friend with whom you have great but complicated personal history, and who has started a relationship with another. I’ve severed ties with her since, due to how insensitive she’s been(and my ego), and because I’ve been unable to bear the thought and sight of her new romance (I truly loved her). In a way, this has benefited me in terms of relief, and has given me time to work on improving myself and focus on my life, but your posts have made me reflect on the pain and hatred that I carry still in my heart. It’s been three months, and I avoid her every day, even when she’s right beside me (no eye contact etc.), and though it helps to put that emotional distance between us to alleviate her from my mind (we were close), I can’t help but feel it flawed somehow. Issues of the ego aside, how do you deal with seeing that person everyday otherwise, when it’s so in-your-face? How can you possibly respect her ‘decision’ and be ‘friends’, when you suffer so much because of it?

It would be great if you could take the time to correspond to me through email, as I’d like to engage in a discussion of sorts about this, and in more detail. I thoroughly enjoy your blog, on which I’ve stumbled upon recently looking for advice on this very issue, and I admire your intelligence and maturity.

Even without response, you have my thanks for what I’ve read so far.

Tom.

P.S. For reference, I’m a 21 year-old college student.