Health Shaming

These days, we hear a lot about fat shaming.  Considering there is so much obesity, it’s not surprising that the subject is heated and has been moralized, but I’m not even here to talk about that.  I want to discuss the opposite effect: something I’ll call health shaming.  Simply having a healthy, thin person around is enough to create self-induced guilt in less healthy, obese people, creating pressures on a healthy person to conform to an unhealthy lifestyle against his or her wishes.  This is best illustrated with examples.

Have you ever been out to a restaurant with friends or family and everyone around you orders food which is fattening and unhealthy?  You’re there to reunite with old friends, celebrate an event with coworkers, or a spend the holiday with family, and you’re the lone person in the pack with any concern about nutrition and health.  You sit quietly sipping your water while they begin ordering entree dishes, and the waitress brings out cheese balls, a blooming onion, and other fried things.  You won’t touch any of it and you’re already feeling awkward.

It’s time to order your main dish and the waiter goes around the table.  Friend one orders a triple bacon cheeseburger the size of a large shoe box, the other a giant greasy steak, and another a mountain of fettuccine alfredo with chicken strips.  They’re all washing it down with sugary drinks.  Now it’s your turn.  You go with a salad along with a small piece of baked chicken and a side of boiled carrots.  Of course, you’re just drinking ice water.  Now it’s really awkward.

You’re not judging anyone.  You don’t want to meddle in anyone else’s business.  You haven’t given anyone any weird looks.  You just want to spend quality time with your friends and family members, but it’s never easy.  The fun is zapped out of the room and everyone starts feeling guilty.

Once they see you ordering the lone healthy dish from the menu, the health shaming effect begins.  Their bubble has been burst, and reality is stepping in.  They’re all experiencing a realization that their portion sizes are way too much, that the food is fatty and unhealthy, and that they actually had the choice not to eat those things.  So, you, the healthy person, sit there in a very awkward position.  Your companions will start talking about new years resolutions, diets, or they’ll make some comment like, “Good for you!  I should take better care of myself too.”  Then everyone reluctantly and awkwardly agrees, there’s a long silence, and then the topic changes.  

How do you respond to that?  This suppressed guilt starts pouring into the conversation, and what are we supposed to say?  What are we supposed to do?  In a way, us healthy folks want to order something really fatty and unhealthy just so this doesn’t happen, but at the same time, we don’t want to spend an extra hour in the gym the next day trying to burn it off.  So we’re stuck at an impasse.

People have strange ideas about health.  I’ll be having dinner with my family and my mom will say, “You’re so thin.  What are you worried about?”  Then they plop some giant two pound steak on my plate, grease dripping off it.  I’m hungry, but what do I do?  Hold on guys, I’m going to heat up a bowl of oatmeal?  I feel so rude, but why should I?  I often just take a few bites, eat my salad and then say, “I’m full”, when I’m really not.  Then once everyone’s out of the kitchen, I’ll quickly eat a turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread.  I can’t even be open about how I want to live, eat, and treat my body without this tension and conflict.

I don’t know what to do in those situations.  I do nothing to provoke it.  Hardly anyone cares about their health, shoveling garbage into their bodies every single day, and that’s their choice.  The problem is they subtly try to force it on others, but we don’t want it.  This is especially true of sweets and junk food.  You see people walking down the street with these giant soft drinks from gas stations and fast food restaurants.   Look at how much sugar is in these sodas.


Imagine going to the store and buying a huge bag of sugar everyday and just shoveling it into your mouth.  That’s what people are doing and wonder why they have health problems.  Also, the corn syrup in most sodas triggers fat storage mechanisms in your body.  You just pack on the pounds.  You look bad, feel bad, are plugged up, are working your way toward becoming a diabetic, and the complications just pile up.

I wish the world wasn’t this way.  It’s frustrating that pretty much every restaurant that’s out there serves nothing but unhealthy food.  Maybe that isn’t the case in big cities, but where I live it’s how things are.  I go in a grocery store like Kroger and 95% of what’s in there is bad for you.  Red meat, sweets, sweetened cereals, alcohol, soda, fried chicken, and on and on.

I don’t even like eating meat.  I think of the animals and their suffering and feel it’s immoral.  I only eat it when I’m with family or something, trying not to be rude.  But try to live as a vegetarian!  Ha!  Where I live there isn’t a single vegetarian restaurant.  Thinking about it, I can only think of maybe three to four vegetarian dishes even offered in my entire town, other than salads.  Almost everything has red meat of some sort.  Try to get beans and it’s filled with ham.  Even when you get salads, they’re covered in mounds of cheese, ham, and other things.

Long ago, I told myself that I was never going to let myself get obese.  I plan to always take care of myself and be good to my body.  I don’t want a big pot belly, fat rolls, or love handles.  I don’t want to eat lunch and need to take a nap.  I don’t want diabetes, heart disease, or high blood pressure.  I don’t want to take a bunch of pills or insulin to keep myself going.  I don’t drink alcohol, smoke, or do any drugs.  And I’ll even go farther — I prefer looking good.  I like having energy.  I like sleeping well at night.  I like being healthy and there isn’t any food that is worth not feeling good.  And you know what?  Nobody is going to health shame me into feeling weird about that.

If you take care of yourself, you’re in a minority.  There’s advantages to being healthy and thin, but society makes life difficult.  You easily can be overworked and have no time to exercise or cook healthy meals.  And no matter what restaurant you go to, or what social event we attend, you can’t eat anything.  Often can’t drink anything.  I mean seriously, we’re not going to eat that giant slice of cake just because it’s somebody’s birthday in the office.  

I have that happen all the time.  Somebody is retiring and I show up to be nice.  Oh, cake and ice cream?  *shivers*  Someone there will will just plop some giant piece of cake on my plate along with a huge scoop of ice-cream.  They rarely ask, “How much would you like?”  If they would have asked, I’d only have wanted a taste.  There’s often a line behind you and it’s awkward having to make this scene, “Oh, I just want a small taste.”  So, I just take a bite and throw the rest away, and that feels rude.  “Do you not like it?”

We’re not rude for refusing to eat the junk food.  Why do we have to so often resort to subterfuge, “Oh, I’m on a diet.  Please excuse me.  I’d really love to eat that, but I just can’t.  I hope you understand.”

I can’t think of many things more important than your health.  I had a friend who was a top scientist at NASA.  He graduated from Yale and Harvard, PhDs in Mathematics and Physics, and was the best of the best.  What did him in?  He drank, smoked, and didn’t watch his diet.  He died in his late 40’s of heart problems.  He had diabetes and they had to chop off portions of his feet.  He had no energy.  We’d walk up a staircase and he’d be exhausted.  That’s not happening to me.

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Thoughts On Ronald Reagan

Many of us look at the world and wonder why things are so crazy.  Well, that has a lot to do with the people running things.  I was born in early 1983, and the man running the United States was President Ronald Reagan.

I’ve been studying a lot of history over my break, particularly the 1970s and 1980s.  Reagan was a character.  I’ll just simply quote from my book.

“Ronald Reagan, the folksy, homespun actor turned General Electric pitch-man, had been California governor since 1967.  He espoused strong family values but was estranged from his children and was the first president to divorce.  A man of limited knowledge but deep religious beliefs and strong conservative convictions, he provided little guidance on policy and had no interest in or grasp of detail.  His vice president, George H.W. Bush, confessed to Soviet Ambassador Anatoly Dobrynin that he at first found Reagan’s views on international relations “almost unimaginable.”  Bush, Dobrynin wrote, was “simply amazed to see what extent Reagan was dominated by Hollywood cliches and the ideas of his wealthy but conservative and poorly educated friends from California.”  National Security Council Soviet expert Richard Pipes admitted that at NSC meetings the president seemed “really lost, out of his depth, uncomfortable.”  Very early in the new administration, counterterrorism coordinator Anthony Quainton was summoned to brief the president.  In Quainton’s words, “I gave the briefing to the President, who was joined by the Vice President, the head of CIA, the head of the FBI, and a number of National Security Council members.  After a couple of jelly beans, the President dozed off.  That … was quite unnerving.”

– The Untold History Of The United States

The Gipper was an uneducated Hollywood cowboy actor, lacking any deep understanding of political or economic issues.  He’d start out meetings with a prayer to Jesus, sit down, somebody else would start briefing him, he’d eat a few Jelly beans, and then doze off when he couldn’t understand anything anyone was talking about.  White House Deputy Chief of Staff Michael Deaver claimed Reagan often napped during cabinet meetings.  “What should we do Mr. President?”  “Uh, you guys take care of that.  I’m going to go watch the ball game.”

“Many of Reagan’s close associates were struck by the depth of his ignorance.  Upon returning from his late 1982 Latin American tour, Reagan told reporters, “Well, I learned a lot. . . . You’d be surprised.  They’re all individual countries.” … Speaker of the House Tip O’Neill was startled when Reagan, admiring O’Neill’s desk that had belonged to Grover Cleveland, told him that he had played Cleveland in the movie The Winning Season.  O’Neill reminded him that the desk had belonged to President Cleveland, not Grover Cleveland Alexander, the pitcher.  O’Neill, who served in the House for thirty-four years, said that Reagan “knows less than any President I’ve ever known.”

Reagan’s simplistic worldview seemed to be a pastiche stitched together from Hallmark greeting cards, Currier and Ives lithographs, Benjamin Franklin aphorisms, Hollywood epics, and Chinese fortune cookies. He wrote, “I’d always felt that from our deeds it must be clear to anyone that Americans were a moral people who . . . had always used our power only as a force for good in the world.”

He had no knowledge of history or international relations, so when foreign leaders visited the White House, staff members had to give him three-by-five inch cards to read off of, directly, word for word.  Even worse, sometimes he’d grab the wrong card and mortify everyone there.
Take discussions with the Soviet Union regarding arms control.  Gorbachev was proposing massive nuclear arms reductions, even wanting to phase out all nuclear weapons by the end of the century.  He was unsuccessful though and describes their meeting:

“Reagan reacted by consulting or reading his notes written on cards.  I tried to discuss with him the points I had just outlined, but all my attempts failed.  I decided to try specific questions, but still did not get any response.  President Reagan was looking through his notes.  The cards got mixed up and some of them fell to the floor.  He started shuffling them, looking for the right answer to my arguments, but he could not find it.  There could be no right answer available — the American President and his aides had been preparing for a completely different conversation.”

– Mikhail Gorbachev, during a nuclear policy discussion with President Reagan

During his second term, his Alzheimer’s disease was starting to take its toll.  Reporters were troubled during a photo opportunity at his ranch when he was unable to answer a basic question related to arms control.  He sat there with a blank expression, lost, gesturing but not speaking.  His wife Nancy tried to save him by softly moving her lips, “Doing everything we can,” to which Reagan repeated, “We’re doing everything we can.”

He had little concern for the poor.  He would often repeat a fabricated story of a Chicago “welfare queen” with eight names, thirty addresses, and twelve Social Security cards who supposedly had a tax-free income of over $150,000 a year.  Every time he’d tell the story, the numbers would change, but actual facts never mattered.  He held this fantasy in his mind that blacks were lying in wait, ready at any moment to pounce on hardworking white Americans and take their hard earned money.

Military spending was ramped up by over 50% during his first few years in office.  To pay for this, he cut funding for various domestic programs.  Four hundred eight thousand people lost their eligibility for Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC) by 1983, and 299,000 saw their benefits cut.  The food stamp budget was cut by $2 billion dollars (of a $12 billion dollar budget), and he even cut $1.5 billion of a $3.5 billion dollar budget from the school lunch program, starving poor children who couldn’t afford to eat.  Medicaid, child nutrition, housing, and other programs for the poor were all cut.  At the same time, taxes were cut in half for the highest income brackets, going from 70 percent to 28 percent during his presidency.  This led to deficits and a huge increase in our national debt.  All sorts of banking and financial regulations were lifted and they all had a heyday.  This led to a major stock market collapse.

He bungled military operation after operation, whether it was in Nicaragua, Grenada, or El Salvador.  We were training and providing funding to Contra soldiers who were raping, killing, and torturing innocent victims.  He had William Casey running the CIA, and Casey wasn’t even able to identify our own propaganda, believing the Soviet Union was bent on taking over the world even though they were literally on the verge of economic collapse.  Fear-mongering and anti-Soviet vitriol was rampant, and anyone who disagreed was purged from the CIA or Defense Department.  As time went on, our view of the Soviet Union and their intentions was totally disconnected from reality.

We were secretly working to overthrow several South American countries and all of it was kept from Congress.  Funding was provided by covertly selling missiles and other arms to Iran while laundering the money through drug dealers to the Contra armies in South America.  This lead to the Iran-Contra scandal, which was a total disaster.

He oversaw millions of dollars in aid to Iraq when Sadaam was using chemical weapons on Iran and even his own people.  He even sent Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld down there to give them nuclear technology, hoping to save them from using up their oil.  Those same nuclear reactors would be used as a pretext to invade their country under George W. Bush’s presidency, claiming they were developing weapons of mass destruction.

President Carter had started a small program to aid Afghan fighters who were staving off the Soviet Union, but Reagan ramped up the CIA’s covert operations tremendously, spending over $3 billion dollars by the time the war ended, its largest operation to date.  It was total overkill.   Those stockpiled weapons would later be used against us in the war after 9/11.  Also, we were so concerned with “beating” the Soviets that we were largely to blame for inciting radical Islam in the region.

“We made a deliberate choice.  At first, everyone thought, there’s no way to beat the Soviets.  So what we have to do is throw the worst crazies against them that we can find, and there was a lot of collateral damage.  We knew exactly who these people were, and what their organizations were like, and we didn’t care.  Then, we allowed them to get rid of, just kill all the moderate leaders.  The reason we don’t have moderate leaders in Afghanistan today is because we let the nuts kill them all.  They killed the leftists, the moderates, the middle-of-the-roaders.  They were just eliminated, during the 1980s and afterwards.”

– Cheryl Bernard, wife of U.S. Ambassador to Afghanistan, RAND expert

Considering Reagan was a religious man, he believed that Jesus’ second coming was imminent and wondered if nuclear Armageddon was around the corner.  To stop our imminent demise, he created the Strategic Defense Initiative (SDI), aka “Star Wars” program, which was to act as an atmospheric shield against an all out Soviet nuclear attack.  It was ill conceived and unrealistic.  Powerful laser weaponry was to be launched up into space to shoot down Soviet missiles before they made it to us.  The program was so fantastic, the American Physical Society let him know that it would take ten years of research just to find out whether such a program was even feasible to attempt.  It was a massive waste of money and was later abandoned.

If you ask a typical conservative, Ronald Reagan was supposedly the greatest President to ever live.  I don’t see anything that great about him.  I agree with Kuznick’s assessment.

“But what is Reagan’s real legacy?  One of the most poorly informed and least engaged chief executives in U.S. history, he empowered a right-wing resurgence of hard-line anti-Communists who militarized U.S. foreign policy and rekindled the Cold War.  He paid lip service to democracy while arming and supporting repressive dictators.  He turned local and regional conflicts in the Middle East and Latin America into Cold War battlegrounds, unleashing a reign of terror to suppress popular movements.  He spent enormous sums on the military while cutting social programs for the poor.  He sharply reduced taxes on the wealthy, tripling the national debt and transforming the United States from the world’s leading creditor in 1981 to its biggest debtor by 1985.  In October 1987, he oversaw the worst stock market collapse since the Great Depression.  He let the chance to rid the world of offensive nuclear weapons slip through his fingers because he wouldn’t let go of a childish fantasy.”

– The Untold History Of The United States

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The Universe In A Glass Of Wine

Richard Feynman recites a poem for his lectures on physics – the whole universe is in a glass of wine.

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Tales of Ugetsu

I’m buried in snow and everything’s closed.  It’s the coldest outside that it’s ever been throughout my entire lifetime.  Bundled up and tired of studying, I decided to watch a movie – Ugetsu Monogatari, an older classic.  You can watch it yourself if you want.  I’ll embed the movie.

Two peasants dream of escaping their lives of poverty as farmers.  One hopes to become a general of the samurai, riding on his horse in prestige from village to village.  The other longs for riches selling his pottery, which he does on the side.

After a little success selling clay pots, both of them feel their dreams are right around the corner.  Miyagi can finally afford samurai armor and Genjuro buys his wife a beautiful kimono.  They risk their lives doing reckless and dangerous things, all in pursuit of their vain ambitions.   In the end, Genjuro loses his wife and Miyagi leaves his wife in destitution as a prostitute.  Both of them do achieve their dreams, but at a great cost to everything else they value – a Pyrrhic victory that was nowhere near the cost they had to pay.

Ambition can warp a man’s mind.   Greed used to be considered a vice, but nowadays it’s the spirit of the age.  You’re “dreaming big”.

You can spend your whole life dreaming of all the things you want.  It might be status, being recognized by your peers, money and possessions, romantic fantasies, or whatever.  Everybody wants the same things.  We want to be loved, to belong, for our lives to have purpose and meaning, to be healthy, and to be happy.  To fulfill those desires, we all so often go about it the wrong way.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve found myself thinking about ambition a lot.  It so often leaves people miserable.  There’s so much suffering and discontent.  When I’m in physics classes, I’m always hearing over and over, “Nobel prize.  Nobel prize.  Nobel prize.”  I see the other students around me light up, dreaming of being the next Einstein, walking up on that stage, accepting that little medal.  “Do your best research while you’re young so that if it takes time to confirm your theories, you can get the prize when you’re old!”

I was reading about a man who was working on string theory in the early years, and he was working on the mathematics in his attic, looking over the paper he was about to submit.  He dreamed he was going to be the next rockstar physicist, and he’d be on the late night talk show circuit, and people would all fawn over him.  “How did you come up with this brilliant theory?”  Well, he published his paper and nobody cared, and that led him to drinking and severe depression.  You know, all of that is unnecessary.

Is that what we’re after?  No.  We have a world filled with lonely, disconnected people.  They feel that they have little to offer and that their lives have never meant anything.  They hope these outward symbols will validate their existence.  I oftentimes feel it’s a symptom of our culture’s over-emphasis on individualism.  What we want is acceptance and the feeling that we belong and have contributed something valuable.  Considering how rare it is for someone to make a contribution like that, for everyone else to feel worthless, or even worse, envious, seems ridiculous.

Getting up on a stage and accepting a medal from a bunch of people you don’t know, while a crowd of strangers applaud isn’t going to make you feel fulfilled.  It’s no different than Miyagi riding on that horse while his regiment of samurai soldiers followed behind.  He was the village idiot and he wanted to show his wife he was capable of more.  That’s how so many people are.  They feel worthless and not accepted.  They don’t belong or feel that they matter, so they find themselves caught up in these dreams, but the dreams aren’t the answer.

I know a man who is a fantastic guitar player and all he dreams about is making it to the big time.  At times, he’s put his wife and children through hell, pursuing his ambitions.  He’ll quit a job just to go play a concert, or burn bridges behind him at the slightest opportunity to get into the music business.  He complains and is miserable in every job he works.  All you hear from him is, “One day…”  His wife and kids suffer as there’s no security in their lives.

I could tell you countless stories of the same situation, totally different people.  I’ve met old men who spend all their retirement money on online multi-level marketing schemes, running up huge credit card debts while living in poverty, even though they have a good retirement paychecks, all in the pursuit of wealth.  “I want a leave something behind for my grandkids.”  Is it really about the grandkids?  I know others in all sorts of weird investment schemes, dreaming of making their millions so they can buy that dream home.

I even had ambitions of all sorts in myself when I was younger.  There’s been this strong desire to accomplish something with my life.  It had always been there.  That feeling that I’m destined for “more”.  But years back I started self-examining myself.  I wondered what that feeling was and where it was coming from.

I came to some conclusions.  Assume the goal or desire you’re working on now never amounts to anything.  If you can’t say you were happy to have done it all, then don’t do it.  If you’re not happy now, you’re not going to be happy later either, no matter what you achieve.  My physics pursuits are the first time I’ve ever done that.  After I finished a business project, I said, “Ok.  If money was no option, and I had all the time in the world, what would I spend my time doing?”  I concluded I would study different things and physics would be a primary focus.  Then I thought, hmm, physics research would be the thing I would want to be most involved in.  So, off I’ve went.

“The meaning of life is just to be alive.  It is so plain and so obvious and so simple, and yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.”

– Alan Watts

I found myself listening to philosophers like Alan Watts because I knew I was missing something really important.  Part of life is accepting that you’re not going to have it all.  This universe is notorious for resisting a person’s desires.  I don’t want to be the man who makes his wife and family miserable because some exotic dream never came true.  Always complaining.  Always miserable.  Never content where I am.  Always mad at something or somebody.  I don’t want to be a person who places more value on empty status symbols than the people I love and care about.  I don’t want to be a person who never has time for the people important in my life, always too busy pursing some dream.

I hope to become a person who is happy and enjoys life in imperfect circumstances.  I want to be a person who is always improving and getting better.  I want to be willing to share my time with others, even though there are lots of things I want to do.  I’m not going to live with hatred or contempt for others around me.  I’m going to love and feel connected, even if they’re very different from me.  I’m not going to isolate myself from this world.

People are going to say stupid things I dislike and disagree with and I’m not going to let it get to me.  One of my heroes is the ancient Greek king Pericles.  I was reading about him the other day in a book dedicated to ancient Greek and Romans who inspired the founding fathers of America.

“Pericles was the kind of man who was equally comfortable discussing the finer points of poetry and charging into battle.  A man of immovable dignity, Pericles once ignored the taunts of a heckler for an entire day while conducting business in the agora.  The heckler even followed Pericles home at the end of the day, still spouting insults.  By then it was dark, so Pericles dispatched a servant with a torch to lead the man home.”

Greeks & Romans Bearing Gifts: How The Ancients Inspired the Founding Fathers

Remember, Pericles was king and this is the ancient world.  Most every other ruler would have had the man’s head chopped off, but not Pericles.  He was ruler of Greece in its golden age.  His primary focus was to promote the arts and literature in Athens in hopes to make it the cultural center of the world.  He also set up their system of populist democracy.

As crazy as the world is, I’m going to sit right in the center of it and be the best influence I can be.  I’m going to teach people science, how to reason, and talk about important social issues that need to be addressed.  And when mobs of ignorant people heckle me, I’ll be like Pericles.  That’s my new years resolution.  I’ve tried to make many of these changes in my life before, but I’ll keep at it.

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Japan’s Birth-Rate Plummets

Over the years, I’ve often talked about how technology is displacing workers and reshaping the way we interact with one another.  I mentioned a new movie which comes on January 10th, Her, where people are all immersed in conversations with their computers and no longer interact with each other.  While our technological advances are bringing a lot of benefits, they’re also leaving a trail of destruction in their wake.

The Guardian recently featured an article on Japan’s plummeting birth rate.   I found it fascinating.  In the modern world, conventional families and relationships are being phased out.  People are glued to these glowing screens, replacing real physical relationships with social media and other ways of communicating online.  As MIT psychologist Sherry Turkle put it, we’re spending our time alone together.

The online world is a unique place.  Isaac Asimov envisioned the internet as a world where every child or adult could investigate his or her passions, connecting with people with similar interests, and growing in knowledge.  To some extent, people can do that online, but they typically don’t.  In Japan and all around the world, there are rapidly growing numbers of young men and women who are unable to secure a career for themselves.  With no job prospects, these people instead use the online world as  form of escape and immerse themselves in vivid fantasies and become shut-ins or geeks.  Not all are this way, but it is really common.

How people use their free time online is just interesting.  My university recently published a study about how students use their time online, and they mostly just watch random Youtube videos in an entirely unproductive manner.  They spend hours staring blankly at a glowing screen where cats fly through the sky pooping out rainbows to loud techno music.  It’s totally bizarre.  I wonder what Isaac Asimov would’ve thought?

When people are given lots of free time online, nobody could’ve predicted what people would actually use the internet for.  In reality, people spend countless hours viewing and making silly gif animations of people falling over on the ice and busting their head while a big text message “FAIL” appears.  They take pictures of cute cats alongside a messages “I CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGER?”  Or they take a picture of a voluptuous woman and simply write BOOBS in a large font.

Recently I read an article on Arts and Letters Daily lamenting how Wikipedia has extensive articles on each and every Pokemon character, pornstar, and niche television show, but so many important scientific and philosophic issues have nothing.  I was surprised the author didn’t understand why that is.

What type of person is going to spend countless hours compiling a massive Pokemon database for free?  The same exact person who would pride themselves in knowing miscellaneous trivia about Star Trek or pornstars — the shut-in geeks.  That’s their way of leaving something to the world.  I think we can all be a little geeky, but they’re…unique.

I used to think I was strange, but I’m fairly normal.  As the article I linked to points out, the true nerds shirk any and all physical contact.  You touch them and they flinch while gritting their teeth.  The counselor who was interviewed actually deals with them and tries to help.  For example, they have strange sexual preferences.  Some of them can’t get aroused unless women dress up in these robotic power-ranger like outfits and do kinky things.

Poor women.  Is this the future of love?  You get the short end of the stick, for sure.  As the world economy spirals, the only way to attract a man is to cosplay as a skimpily dressed robot-demon-vampire woman with tenatacle arms holding large swords, which you use to tickle his anus as you whisper all the naughty things you’re going to do to him later.   Otherwise he’s not interested.

They must’ve spent years masturbating to some strange content.  I don’t think we fully understand all the effects of the hyper-stimulation of internet pornography.  People watch videos of cumshot compilations where the most extreme moments of intercourse flash in rapid succession, featuring the most beautiful women, from the best visual angles, all during climax.  No normal woman could ever stimulate a man in that way.

There are weird things going through people’s heads when it comes to sex, especially in women.  Forces I don’t understand are at work, and I don’t think it’s just porn.  Greg and I have had conversations about this, but we’ve never identified the source.  Huge numbers of men and women all over the world are becoming disgusted by sex.  I have no idea why.

For example, a 2011 survey by the Japan Family Planning Association found that 45% of women aged 16-24 “were not interested in or despised sexual contact.”  That’s almost half of all young women.  That blew me away.  If you go to Japanese schools and universities all over their country, one out of every two women find sex repulsive.  One out of four men feel the same way.  What in the world!?  That’s not normal.  There must be something broken in their culture, and I think similar forces are at work all over the world, but I’m not sure.

Besides economic considerations, I find myself wondering if is related to all this garbage in music videos, advertising, and reality TV, where women are treated as sex objects who can only succeed if they’re an airheaded bimbo with a nice body and big hair.  There’s all this body shaming.  I speculate that it’s finally reaching a  tipping point in women and men who are just rejecting all of it outright.  Combine that with all the science coming out, treating us as evolutionary animals, portraying men as shallow sex machines who always want to cheat, and women who are just as bad, and none of us want anything to do with one another anymore.  There’s no trust.  And now that things are getting hard, who wants people like that at your side?  You don’t need real people.  Social media and the online world offers a constant connection with all your friends.  You’re never alone.

This isn’t just the youngest generation though.  It applies to most everyone in their mid-30s or below.  There’s increasing numbers of men and women in that age group who have never dated at all, and show no interest in ever dating.  In Japan, one-third of people under 30 have never dated at all.   In the 18-34 age bracket, 61% percent of unmarried men and 49% of unmarried women were not pursuing a romantic relationship of any kind.  It’s like they don’t believe love exists, or maybe they’ve never seen it?

I should discuss the economic considerations before ending this.  The modern world is especially tough on women.  We’ve all constructed a society in which both the husband and the wife have to work to make ends meet.  The problem is, many women have trouble advancing in their career if they’re married because employers worry that they’ll eventually end up pregnant.  Once a woman’s pregnant, nobody wants to deal with the inflexible hours that may entail.  Children are treated as a huge burden, and so married women have a really hard time getting promoted.  They’re better off being single.

Fearing these sorts of things, people are moving away from typical relationships and going toward hook-ups and other forms of easy gratification.  Online porn is booming.  Others are finding themselves in unusual relationship circumstances, such as having online or virtual-reality girlfriends. 

It’s interesting that all over the modern world, our culture has created a mine-field that people struggle to navigate.  For example, in Japan, there’s this stereotype that married working women are “devil wives.”  So, 70% of them quit their jobs after getting married.  That’s fine and good, but then their husbands can’t earn enough money to be the sole bread-winner for the family.  No matter what they do, they just can’t win.  Then they go to the cinema and see films portraying corrupt working women, with the implied message, “Do you want to end up like them?”

So what do you end up with?  Women choose to pursue a successful career and never marry or have kids.  They hang out with their girlfriends, go shopping, eat out, and travel.  As for sex, they have casual hookups and one night stands.  They have affairs with people in their office.  That sort of thing.  Men are similar.  But as I said, good jobs are getting harder to come by, and we’re ending up with a large class of dead-beats.  Those guys have even less success in love.  Some of them aren’t lazy — they’ll work, but these corporations don’t pay a living wage, even though they earn record profits.

People crave human warmth, but a combination of social and economic circumstances make typical relationships extremely difficult.  Hence we have a falling birthrate and a weird sort of digital love replacing the old style intimacy which we’ve always had.

Everyone is glued to their smartphones and social media websites.  Some may think they’re a replacement for the old-style friendships and relationships, but I’d disagree.  That whole digital world has so many problems, and I don’t even know where to get started.  I probably shouldn’t because I’d get too far off topic.  In short, people obsess over how they appear to others, so there’s no real intimacy.  It’s not about getting to know each other.  Most people actually fear you getting close to them.  They’re scared to show weakness, the real details of their lives, or their real opinions .  Why?  The online world is unforgiving.  People are nasty.  Do you ever go to websites and read the comments?  We’re all compared to impossibly high standards, and we have to constantly appear to be this super-kind, wonderful, charming, funny, never depressed, happy person, and it makes everyone neurotic.  Social media is a mess.

Real friendship and love is a private affair.  That’s where you share your deepest thoughts on things without fear of being judged by the mob.  Privacy is important.

All of this has left Japan’s leaders worried.  Their population just keeps plummeting. I have a strong feeling that this is going to happen all over the world.  A combination of a messed up cultural values toward love and relationships, a corrupt economy, technology displacing people’s ability to earn a living wage, and many other factors are leading to madness.   This is all so complicated to research though.  It’d take years to get to the bottom of it, and I’m mostly spending my time studying physics these days.

Are half the young women I meet that way as well?  Do they find sex and men in general disgusting?  Why?  How did they get that weird picture in their heads?  The only way  to know is to get out there and ask lots of people, with carefully conducted surveys, probing their minds.  I’ll never know just sitting here from my study thinking about it.

What I do know is we live in a strange time. 

Posted in Economics, Politics | 3 Comments