I’m going to do my best to try to explain what this experience we all call “life” is. This is my best simple model as of today.
For the moment, I would like all of you to entertain a thought. Imagine that you really are not a weak little human, living on Earth, in a big, hostile, vast cosmos. In actuality, the fullness of your being is something much greater. Try to imagine that you’re an infinite being, full of bliss and joy, living in a timeless perfection, omnipotent (all powerful) and omniscient (can see all possibilities simultaneously). You’ve always been and always will be, containing all that has, can, or ever will be.
But, if you’re this incredible being, all powerful and the rest of it, that means you have to have the power to temporarily delude yourself that you’re a much weaker, more limited being. If not, how could you be capable of experiencing any possibility? You couldn’t do this permanently. Why? Because you must always have the power to restore your power, but it must be within your power to limit your own power temporarily. How would such a super-being go about that?
You couldn’t actually take away your power, your knowledge, your bliss. That’s who you are. That always has been and always will be. What is, is. BUT, what if there was a way to hide yourself from yourself? It’s like you’re a floating eye living in this vast infinity which is your body, and to accomplish this delusion of being a puny human, you get a big black blanket and cover over the rest of your body. Then you fly over this blanket with your eye and look through little holes, seeing only a portion of yourself, pinhole by pinhole. By looking through the pinholes in just the right order, one by one, similar to how you see frames in a movie, you could maybe temporarily delude yourself that you’re a limited form, with limited knowledge, in a flow of time. With this concept in mind, I introduce you to my model of reality, illustrated in this figure.
Looking at the figure, you see a box, then there are things outside the box. Outside the box is the true you, your true consciousness. You exist as a timeless infinity, where all possibilities exist, nothing ever changes, and the background is love, peace, and bliss. If you study near-death experiences, this will be confirmed to you. Also, many yogis and saints focus their attention inward through meditation and prayer, reversing their spiritual eye’s direction entirely, and behold infinite bliss, nirvana, perfection. It’s possible to anyone.
Outside the box you also see a kid’s ViewMaster toy, with a set of goggles and little image frame-wheels. You load the circular film wheels into the device and you can view them one by one, the rest of your vision obscured. Notice that all possible movie reels already exist, all their frames just lying there, ready to be loaded into the ViewMaster. A more sophisticated analogy may be virtual reality goggles.
You can see just outside the box, I have a child (a child of God), putting on the virtual reality goggles, hiding herself from herself, to more fully immerse herself in the experience. The being was God beforehand, but once the veil is placed on, this focal point of attention, within God, becomes a child of God. That is the veil, the black blanket and the floating eye I spoke of earlier. In my figure, the outer box is a representation of the veil. The veil is a mechanism to hide the rest of yourself from yourself, a sort of distraction mechanism, a way to help hold a focus of attention on one particular possibility of all the infinite possibilities available to you.
Notice that within the box there are two domains. The first domain is that of thought, sensation, and emotion. In this model, thought is a subset of all-knowledge. There is a database of all knowledge within you, but this particular “thought” you’re having in this frame is a projection of a small portion of that database of all knowledge. The same applies to sensation and emotions. You have at your disposal all sensations, and all emotional states, but you’re covering the rest of your sensational and emotional possibilities up, and only viewing a portion of them.
This veil, this covering up of your normal state of being, is an uncomfortable process. It’s sort of like cramming yourself in the trunk of a car. It’s cramped and isn’t what you’re used to. This in turn creates desire. A desire for what? For more. Something will always seem lacking, always. “Is this all there is?” The second you start this process of hiding yourself from yourself, it immediately creates a desire within yourself to find your former fullness, along with the peace, love, and bliss. You want to take off the ViewMaster, but you sort of commit to experience it for a limited amount of “time”, no matter how crazy the experience may get within the limited vision you’re about create for yourself.
So how does one go about creating the illusion of incarnating into a body? When constructing the mental “filmstrip” you’re loading into the ViewMaster, choose frames where the bodily forms, such as your legs, arms, torso, head, feet, etc., are always projected “close” to the viewer. To complement this, within these same frames, if say some external object, such as a chair, bumps into the “your” body’s leg, arm, etc., you place a corresponding sensation to accompany it. You do not create this sensation otherwise. For example, if a rock falls down a cliff and smashes something below, you feel no pain, because this didn’t happen to “your” body. This sort of trick is used to create the illusion of an “internal” world vs an “external” world. Now, as for all these “external” objects, they always rotate around the viewer, but the viewer’s body largely remains consistent, outside of a degree of head rotation, etc.
The illusion of time requires memory of the past frames viewed, but if you could view all the past frames simultaneously, you’d quickly catch on that you’re a timeless being. So how do we create an illusion of a limited present? What you do is carry over parts of the past frames into the “present” frame, but keep it all kinda blurry and fuzzy, fragmented and dimly lit. I illustrated this in my figure by two beams going off to the right and the left, highlighting past and future in light cones. You want the present frame to overpower these a great deal. So for example, say you’re out for a walk, and there’s some object in the background, like a swingset. To create the illusion of time, that “present” frame has a layered image superimposed on top of it of when your mother took you to the park as a child, swinging back and forth. We call this “memory”. This may also be accompanied by illusory thoughts of, “Oh how things change.” “I miss those days.”, etc. You’re not actually remembering, nor is this “I” you keep hearing in your head “real”. Well, it is you but is also isn’t, not in the way you perceive it to be. It’s a sound within you, accompanied by this memory I just explained. It’s a phony sound in your head, loaded into the frame which the real eternal, infinite you is viewing. You’re viewing super-imposed carry-overs of “past” frames into the present. In reality, it’s all present. It’s all now.
Planning for the so-called future works the same way. It’s more information loaded into the present frame that’s dimly-lit, showing other possible configurations of forms and sensations, but all less fleshed out than the present moment in terms of clarity and detail. You’re not planning anything. God wrote the script, God is doing everything, and this illusory “Jason” is just a form, the world outside of me is other projected forms, and all of this is accompanied accompanied by projections of thoughts from the Almighty.
This explains my problems understanding freewill for so long. I used to wonder, how in the world do I lift my arm? Think of the bazillions of atoms I had to move, all the blood I had to pump, all the electrical signals within nerves which had to fire. “I” didn’t do that. Yet, when I go to lift my arm, it feels so much like I was the one who chose to lift the arm. But how can this be?
The key to solving this riddle is to distinguish between the false “I” and the real I (which is God). “Jason” did not lift the arm. How could a form within a frame change its own timeless, unchanging frame? It’s nonsense. “Jason” is not choosing the frames, and the thoughts “Jason” is having within the frames are also not his own. They’re given by God, to Himself, as clues to Himself, for His own game. “Jason” is a bodily form projected up close to God’s spiritual eye viewpoint, along with projections of God’s infinite thoughts and emotions into those frames. God did it all.
Scientists, working in labs all over, who are also inserted forms into the frames of God’s experience, look at the brain and try to understand free will, and say, “How could this ever work? Wouldn’t it all be deterministic, according to the laws of physics?” They’re kind of right yet also kind of wrong. “Jason” is an illusion, just as neuroscientists say. But God, operating within me, is no illusion. The frames are chosen to where all the perceived forms flow and move according to set patterns, chosen by God when building the filmstrip. Also, the frames are chosen to where when electrical patterns flow in the brain in such and such a way, the corresponding sensations happen as well. God wanted to see this orderly flow of events, from the perspective of “Jason”. That’s where physics comes from, even though in reality the forms don’t have to follow physics as we know it at all. The freewill problem only comes from incorrect dualistic thinking. Freewill exists, and this whole play of events is also all “deterministic” (meaning those frames will follow rules, one to the next, as God planned), and there’s no contradiction at all. “You” (in actuality a child of God) are choosing your destiny, while it’s also all fated to happen from a pre-written script (written by the same being), and there’s no problems whatsoever. But if within the frames, God loaded in thoughts of, “I want this”, and that doesn’t happen in future frames, does that mean God is not omnipotent? No, God chose that for his own illusion to experience.
There are also safety mechanisms within this movie. God is all powerful, so if God says this film is going to play, it’s going to play. But what if when God is viewing the play, he doesn’t like what He is experiencing? That’s where the point of surrender comes in. It’s a fascinating thing that I (Jason) only discovered within the last two years or so. If you follow say Ramana Maharshi’s enquiry into the self, you eventually end up at the Point of Surrender, as far as I can tell. If you’ve never been there, it will be difficult to describe, but I will try. It’s basically an inward focus of attention, away from the world, away from the mind within the veil, and back toward the true Self, which is hiding Itself. And you just sit there. Bliss and peace seeps through the veil at this point, since this is the point where the spiritual eye of God is viewing the entire play God wrote, and one can simply keep their focus of attention there. One still has thoughts and still perceives the events of the world around him, but the emotional drama of the entire thing doesn’t affect one at this point. A peace that only God can give resides here, as the scriptures say. This person’s burdens have been cast onto the infinite God, so the child of God can just peacefully and happily ride through any event, as long as they’re focused on this point.
Notice that within this model, everything and everyone you encounter is yourself. Everything is God, everything is you, and there is no difference. That’s why you are to even love your enemies. They’re inserts God put in there, to experience adventures, trials, tribulations, and other things. When you see your best friend, or a desert highway on your way home from work, it’s as if you’re looking at your big toe’s thumbnail, and later a wrinkle on your index finger. It’s all you. It also makes no sense to try to chase “more” experience because you took on this play in order to view limitation. I think that’s why the experience becomes far more pleasant when we focus on the present.
There’s also no evolution a child of God must undergo. No purification. There’s no need to earn salvation. If “karma” exists, it’s simply the child of God requesting another go. If you want to, go for it. These illusions can’t, in any way, affect the real you. At least, that’s how I see things. I will probably write a part 2 to this post, going over a lot of other important things, but I don’t want this post to get too long.