The Quality Of A Relationship

I don’t normally write about these sorts of topics, but I wanted to discuss love and relationships with all of you.  Gasp!  Yeah, I know, it’s not the sort of thing you expect me to write about, of all people.  I’m mainly writing this hoping some of you will read through it and comment on what you think, or share things you might add.  If you’ve been in a loving, successful relationship for a long time, I’d be especially interested to hear your perspective.  Overall, any input from you all would be great.

I have a simple rubric, a mental checklist which I use to evaluate the quality of a friendship or relationship.

Self-Disclosure
This a mutual revealing of intimate details about ourselves, our likes and dislikes, dreams and worries, our proud and shameful moments.  The keyword is mutual.  The process tends to be I reveal a little, they reveal a little, and we learn about each other over time.  I look for an active interest in me, my life, the things that happen to me, and that I sense this person wants to understand me and how I feel.  And of course, I want to know about them as well (I already know about me).

Quality Time Together
I believe people make time for what’s important to them.  Everyone’s always busy, but if I’m important to them, they’ll make time for me.  It’s important to be an active part in one another’s lives.  The more active we are in one another’s lives, the more serious I consider the relationship.

Equity
This is where we both receive in the same proportion as what we give.  As time goes on, there is a mutual sharing of ourselves and our possessions, we make decisions together, we give and get emotional support from one another, we care about each other’s welfare, and we value and respect one another.

Affection
This includes things like nice gestures, thoughtful things done for one another, praise, and things like that.

This list may not be exhaustive, but I think it’s a decent basic foundation of a good relationship.  From my experience, when these things aren’t present, the relationship is pretty crappy.

A Rigged Election

Here in the United States we’re told we live in a democracy; we don’t.  If you’ve been following the U.S. presidential race, you’ll see how the establishment has purposely been derailing the will of the people, rigging the system in favor of Hillary Clinton.  The overall idea is that the popular political parties focus all their energies into one candidate who is decided by popular vote in a sort of “candidate election”.  Based on how many votes a candidate receives, they earn these party “delegates” in each geographic area, and whoever gets the most delegates wins their party’s nomination.  Currently the Democratic party is voting for who will be their candidate, and a heated race is happening between Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton.  But if you follow what’s happening, the system is being rigged and manipulated.  For instance, just recently results came in from the state of Wyoming.  Bernie Sanders won the popular vote 56%-44%, and how how were the delegates assigned?  Hillary Clinton walks away with 11 delegates and Bernie got 7.  What in the world’s going on?

To understand this, you have to learn about superdelegates.  So who are these superdelegates?  I’ll let Wikipedia explain.

“In American politics, a “superdelegate” is a delegate to the Democratic National Convention who is seated automatically and chooses for whom he or she wants to vote. According to Democratic Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Shultz, superdelegates are in place to protect party leaders from running against grassroots activists. [1]These Democratic Party superdelegates include distinguished party leaders, and elected officials, including all Democratic members of the House and Senate and sitting Democratic governors. Other superdelegates are chosen during the primary season. Democratic superdelegates are free to support any candidate for the nomination. This contrasts with convention “pledged” delegates who are selected based on the party primaries and caucuses in each U.S. state, in which voters choose among candidates for the party’s presidential nomination. Because they are free to support anyone they want, superdelegates could potentially swing the results to nominate a presidential candidate who did not receive the majority of votes during the primaries.”

– Source:  Wikipedia

Isn’t that nice.  Sure we the people can “vote” for a candidate, but if the establishment doesn’t like who  we vote for, they’re going to use this superdelegate system to rig the election for their preferred candidate.  Normal delegates are assigned by popular vote (that’s how Bernie got 7 delegates in Wyoming), but there are lots of these establishment superdelegates who vote however they want and of course, they vote Hillary.  That’s how Hillary got her extra 4 delegates in Wyoming.  And isn’t their system of rounding nice?  56% of 14 total “normal” delegates is 7.84.  In other words, for Wyoming, Bernie should’ve gotten 8, Hillary 6, and ALL the superdelegates should’ve went to Bernie, giving him 12 to Hillary’s 6.  Instead Hillary walks away 11-7.

This is happening all over the country.  In many states Bernie is winning with an 80-20 margin, but 94% of the 498 superdelegates are going to Clinton.  In Colorado, Sanders won 59% of the vote; didn’t get a single superdelegate.  In Nebraska he won 57% of the vote; not a single superdelegate.  In Idaho Bernie won 80% of the vote; didn’t get a single superdelegate.  In the state of Washington, Bernie won 75% of the vote, winning every single congressional district; not a single superdelegate.  In Minnesota, Bernie got 61.6% of the popular vote, but only got 3 of 16 superdelegates.

Right now, if Sanders had the superdelegate votes that Clinton has, he’d be winning the delegate race 1444 to 1272.  Instead Hillary is “winning”, due to crazy rounding and superdelegates.  What a joke.

To go back to the state of Washington, these “superdelegates” include Gov. Jay Inslee, U.S. senators Maria Cantwell and Patty Murray, and U.S. representatives Jim McDermott, Suzan DelBene, Rick Larsen, Adam Smith, Denny Heck and Derek Kilmer.  Isn’t that nice, a bunch of politicians voting for who they think should be our president, overriding the will of the people.

This system of superdelegates needs to be abolished immediately.