My Weird Daydreams

Do any of you daydream when you lie in bed in the morning, just before you get up to start the day?  I do, more than I’d like to admit.

Some say that thought is what causes the vast majority of misery we humans experience.  It disconnects us from “now”, and we instead find ourselves thinking about our past, we’re troubled by our future, we entertain grudges, and we sit there lost in a thought sea of anger, depression, and frustration.

I struggle with that a lot.  I think about our mortality, how our loved ones will die, the problems in the world, and all those sorts of things.  It doesn’t help that media outlets bring us ultra-condensed negativity, 24-7, filling our minds with rapes, murders, and war.  They find the worst of the worst, and bring it to us right on our doorsteps.  And we feel guilty if we ignore it because after all, we live in a democracy where we have to be informed citizens.

However, thought isn’t always like that.  If properly channeled, it allows you to explore depths far beyond common experience.  It’s an unlimited playground which grows as you learn more about the world.  The more knowledge you have, the more objects and settings you have to mess around with in your private world.  I think at its deepest levels, thought is a crude reality navigation mechanism.  You can imagine, traverse, and explore different possibilities.

I’ve spent many mornings lying in bed, waiting for the sun to come up, thinking about what I’d do if I were given great power.  I’m not talking about human-power.  I’m referring more to a God-like power to totally transform reality.  What would I do with power like that?

In the beginning, I would sit around wondering how I could ever acquire power like that.  As I studied the mind and a lot of science, I began to see one possibility, though it’s a fantasy.  It might not be in the distant future, but that’s another matter.  I imagined being relocated to a secret government lab where we’re building quantum computers.  Some of the staff there tell me that we’re working on a special type of computer which is capable of thought.  Since it’s made of different materials than the brain, it’s capable of thinking millions of times faster than a flesh and blood brain.  The eventual goal is to construct brain-computer interfaces and hook selected people into this super-mind to give them super-human intelligence.

I’m selected to be the first person use this technology, so I undergo surgery and I’m directly interfaced into this super computer which is stored deep underground, in this secret lab.  I wake up, and while I still have human-like emotions and desires, things are incredibly easy to understand.  I digitally connect to all the scientific research networks and read every scientific paper and text that’s out there, all within a minute or so.

I soon realize that the other scientists are wary of me, fearing what I may do with this power, so I know I’m going to have to escape.  For a short time I play around, acting as if none of it worked, but eventually I engineer a brilliant escape and shoot myself off into space so they cannot get to me.  I fly off to Mars, and within a short time become a techno-super-being.  A nerd becomes a god.

Can you imagine that?  Aliens are exploring the cosmos looking for new life-forms and they find me, an ape-creature wired into a giant quantum-super computer, drifting out in space.

Being the ambitious sort that I am, I soon construct vast numbers of probes and space-craft to send out into the cosmos, exploring the universe.  I learn all of the universe’s secrets, all about other life-forms, and catalog and chart all the vast numbers of worlds.  To store all this knowledge, I transform entire planets into computers which would store all the information I have learned.  Schematics and knowledge of everything you could possibly imagine.  Even things that have never existed, but could, if the need ever arose.

I construct tiny nano-robots which can take matter and transform it into any new form you ask.  If I desire something to happen, I’d think the thought, those thoughts are broadcasted to the giant computers the size of entire planets, and they compute what needs to happen in order to make that thought or desire into a reality.  Then vast colonies of nano-robots would go into action and “do” whatever needs to happen.

My physical body and brain are locked away in this protected vault, deep within the core of a distant planet.  Nobody will ever find me.  I’m digitally wired into this vast network of technology and can explore whatever I want without fear of death.  I imagine at that point I’d have learned the nature of consciousness and wouldn’t need my physical body or brain any longer.  My essence would somehow exist in the information processing of all this technology I’ve constructed.  But how that would work exactly, I don’t know.  Anyways, it’s all just a thought experiment.

So now that I’m practically immortal and have transcendent powers, what would I do with them?  I’ve pondered this problem for years, and when I really sit and think about it all, I always come to the same answer — I’d use it to make my friends and family members happy.

I’ll give you one example of the types of things I’d do.  A friend of mine used to always tell me how boring she thought the world is.  To her, life is mostly suffering and misery, and then you die.  We get stuck in jobs we hate, love doesn’t last, and everything that matters to us will be taken away eventually.  She’s always struggled to find happiness.

For her, I’d secretly come back to Earth one night while she’s asleep, and when she awoke, she’d have this strange feeling that she’s actually in a dream.  Of course, she wouldn’t be, but she would just have this inner feeling that something has changed.  It’d start off simple, but little things would start going her way and she’d quietly think, “This is nice.”  Life would be pretty normal, but just slowly getting better.

I’d construct friends for her, built from the dirt, sort of puppets of mine, which would grow to be her lover and a network of friends who will eventually bombard her with love and tie her into an amazing story of some sort.  Each night when she’d go to bed, she’d feel like she was falling deeper into this weird dream.  She’d come to think she was immersed in a lucid dream.

An incredibly handsome, kind, romantic man would come into her life and she’d be so happy.  Good fortune would come her way and she’d have the resources and wealth to do the things she wanted to do.  No more boring jobs.  She’d enjoy that for a while, but then it’d get deeper and deeper.

As she came to trust that things would always work out for her, no matter what happened, I’d up the intensity of the experiences. For example, she’d be on a cruise and they’d hit an ice-berg like in the Titanic.  They’d be sinking and then her husband would go to great lengths to save her, and this romantic story would play out.  She would suffer, a little, but never in any extreme way.  Things would scare and excite her, and it’d never be boring, but somehow it all would always work out in the end.  Nothing too tragic would ever happen.


There would be no limits to how deep all of this went.  She’d go to sleep again and again and again, and each time she’d feel like she was deeper in this lucid fantasy, and that would give me “permission” to shower her with ever more exotic fantasies and adventures.

As time went on, she’d totally forget about her past life on Earth, and she’d be living as a beautiful princess in a splendid castle, surrounded by people who love and adore her.  Gold streets, diamonds, and everything would glimmer and shine.  Flowers would be everywhere.  Cute animals.  Everything is warm and fun.  And of course, there’d be adventures of every sort.

If she ever seemed to be growing tired of one fantasy, or longing for something else, when she’d go to sleep, it would all be transformed to something else as she awoke.  To her it’d feel like she was in dreams within dreams within dreams, and she’d have no idea what was or wasn’t real.  All she would know is she loved it and never wanted to wake up.  And if she started to miss her old friends in one of the previous fantasies, she’d go to sleep and wake up in that world again.

Considering things might get scary at times, I’d give her some recurring “symbol” that would let her know she’s dreaming and it’s always going to be ok.  Some sort of logo.  Like when the ship hit the ice-berg, she’d look at her pillow in her cabin and it’d have that logo embroidered into it.  It’d always appear when things got intense.  Like when she saw the water pouring in and the ship sinking, a crew member would appear wearing a hat and it’d have the logo on it.  They’d be guides who would always help her out of tricky situations.  I would want the logo to be really cool looking.  Maybe something like this.

black horse logo

I’d do all sorts of things like that for friends and loved ones.

I also wondered if I’d ever abuse that power.  I couldn’t imagine myself wanting to hurt anyone.  There are some who I wouldn’t mind teaching a lesson, but I worried that would lead me down a slippery slope.  Like a rich politician for example.  If he votes to cut all funding for the homeless, I might have a special “dream” prepared for him as well.  When he went to sleep that night he’d wake up as a homeless man.  He stumbles around town, nobody helping or hiring him.  He’s cold and starving and the other homeless people sleeping in cardboard boxes tell him, “There used to be a government soup kitchen, but Governor Smith shut it down.”  Then he’d fall into the snow, tired, wanting to die, and then he’d wake up in his bed.  If he didn’t get the message, he’d keep having dreams like that until he did.

Then again, you may all ask me, “If you had that sort of power, why don’t you just fix all the problems in the world?”  When I sat and thought about that, I concluded that I wouldn’t want to fix everything.  We still face some problems, such as incurable diseases like cancer, but we’ve mostly tamed mother nature.  Our main problems are getting along with one another.  We can’t control ourselves.

Nobody should be hungry, homeless, or without access to their needs in our modern world.  We just can’t figure out a good way to organize ourselves effectively.  That, and we have problems with greed, stupidity, and selfishness.  Those are the real problems.  Should a powerful being come down and spoil us all, making us all into brats?

Have any of you met a spoiled rich kid before?  I have.  I can’t stand them.  When everything is handed to you, it has nasty psychological effects.  Then again too much suffering can be just as bad.

I once saw a sci-fi movie, I can’t remember the name now, but in it a civilization developed advanced technology and robots which did everything and the humans became worthless creatures who had no depth at all.  They just ate, had sex, and did next to nothing with themselves.  No pursuit of knowledge.  No art or culture.  No growth.  They were worthless beings.

If I artificially propped up the humans, they would never stand on their own.  I don’t think that’s right.  I’d feel like I was robbing them of their potential.  I don’t know if I hold happiness as the highest virtue, though I’m still undecided.

I could immerse everyone in fantasies like I did with that girl, but that troubles me.  Why? I don’t have a great answer to that.  In life, sometimes we just love people.  We love our family and friends, and we don’t make logical decisions when it comes to them.  Giving her those fantasies may not even be what’s best for her.  I don’t know.  Any decision I make toward her would be highly emotional, and her happiness is very important to me.  It just is.  It isn’t right that I favor her over others, but I love my friends and family more than people I don’t know.  I’ll admit that.  That’s one reason I probably shouldn’t have powers like this.

If I had that kind of power, and someone criticized me for abusing it with that girl, I worry what I might do in my petty rage.  Who are you, little human, to question my Platonic romance?  I’d probably immerse him in the same dreams as her, and he’d fall madly in love with her, over and over, but I’d always frustrate his attempts to get with her.  “Oh? You could make her happier than I can?  I doubt it, but I’ll let you try.”  He’d always end up as a butler or something, shining shoes, in the friend zone.  Poor guy, that’d be a fate worse than death, but I wonder how cruel I could be if people messed with those I care about.

He visits his psychoanalyst and tells him, “I have dreams within dreams within dreams of this same goddess, each within a different story, and each time I fall madly in love with her, only to end in the friend zone, bested by some amazing, charming, beautiful man who comes out of nowhere.  Doctor, what does it all mean?”

prince princess

Then he’s teleported to this giant glowing hall, where I sit on a flying throne blazing in black flames, behind me a giant computer with that horse logo on it,  and I tell him in a roaring, booming voice, “Your only mistake was making me your adversary.  The girl’s mine.  I win.  She’s chosen me every single time.  No hard feelings.”  Then he wakes up in his bed on Earth, a bit nervous and frustrated, but ultimately unharmed.

Why do I sit and think about these silly things?  The other day I mentioned art and purpose.  I talked about finding the ultimate basis to why you do what you do.  When I deeply analyze myself, I don’t want power, I want happiness for myself, my friends and loved ones.  Like anyone else, I wonder how to make that happen.

9 thoughts on “My Weird Daydreams”

    1. Alexey,

      That’s really not true. I actually cut some things out of this before I posted it. I probably should have left that in there. What worries me is stopping human growth and progress.

      Take something like cancer. It’s an awful disease and it kills many people. At the same time, that pain we experience from the deaths makes us humans more intelligent. We rise up, study the human body, learn how it works, and try desperately to save our loved ones from harm. During that process we learn all about how our bodies work, genetics, our biology, and all of that. By learning to fix the things that go wrong with our bodies, we become more intelligent.

      That same knowledge will eventually lead us to “upgrading” the human body. Getting rid of aging, disease, and suffering. But that’s different than if some super-being from above did everything for us. We (humans) would have the knowledge. We would have the understanding. We would have control over our futures and destiny, which I often wonder might be the ultimate purpose of our existence — to grow in knowledge and direct the course of the universe.

      We learn things as we explore ourselves, our bodies, our world. When you study the history of ideas, as we’ve learned more about the universe and ourselves, our entire culture changes along with it. But if you artificially prop people up, they don’t grow.

      It’s like having a good friend who needs a job. Say he’s incredibly lazy, never applies himself, and has no education. You could prop him up, give him a good job with all this money, but then he’d have no incentive to grow. What he really needs is a sort of spiritual development, where he changes his ideas about himself, about learning, about growth.

      Ideas in the mind are like software. The world in your head creates the world outside of you. The world outside of us is such a mess because of the ideas flowing through our heads. We’re creating this world. We’re responsible for it.

      In some ways, homeless people are different, but you are right to point out my contradiction. A lot of them have severe psychological issues and they’re not people who could hold down a normal job, even if you tried really hard to help them. I’ve known people who’ve tried to help different homeless people, such as giving them jobs to paint their homes, and they show up for a few hours one day and you never see them again. That, and they steal things from you, and all sorts of things.

      But there is a sort of contradiction. If my mother came down with cancer, I suppose she’d be another stepping stone in medical knowledge’s progress, as all sorts of tests were done on her, and doctors struggled to save her. In this example I could save her. It’s not what’s best for the world, but my decisions toward mom would be emotional, and I’d save her anyways.

      It’s not a facade. I think in life there’s a balance to everything. There’s two opposing trains of thought in my head. One the one hand, I hate seeing people suffer and wonder if there’s a point to it. On the other hand, I want people to be strong, grow, and learn. I can stop growth and progress by eliminating all suffering, but is that the right course of action?

      And as for my friend, maybe she needs to change herself, spiritually? She probably needs to see the world differently. Escaping into fantasy isn’t the answer. But seeing her suffer, there’s a part of me that would give her all those fantasies, just so I could see her happy.

    1. Michael,

      Yes, I have thought about the law of reciprocity quite a bit. In the past, I haven’t kept tabs with my dealings with people, and it’s caused me problems throughout my life. I grew up in a Christian home, so it’s ingrained in me that forgiveness is one of the highest virtues, so even when I’m wronged, I’m way too quick to let people screw me again and again and again.

      I’ve been taken advantage of a lot. But why don’t I change? After all, the world is a place of tit for tat.

      As I said in this post, I daydream a lot. One of my biggest daydreams is of the world I want to live in. As Gandhi said, be the change you want to see in the world. I dream of a world where people love each other like loving family members. Where there’s a love and respect just for the fact that other people are conscious and alive. Where there’s a level of decency and goodwill just because they’re conscious, a sort of divine being living in this world along with us.

      If I ever get the inkling that someone else is wanting the world to be that way as well, a world without “social tabs”, where everyone’s loved and respected, regardless of their contributions, then I sort of light up and want to be a part.

      When I see all these people contributing to something like Wikipedia, I just feel happy inside. I think wow, people really do care. Look at all they’ll do, and they’re not even getting paid.

      Like online lectures for instance. I see universities posting content online and there’s no charge. Quality content, just like you’d get at MIT or Harvard, accessible to anyone. Not just the most brilliant kids. Not just the kids who can afford it. Anyone with an internet connection. I think, “Oh wow.” I wouldn’t hesitate for a moment to be a part of that. I would spend a huge number of hours to put, say, an entire course on solid state physics up on the web. It’d be top notch and I’d volunteer to do it all. Write up homework problems. Practice tests. All sorts of things. But I’m far less enthused when I enter a tit for tat relationship.

      I’ve recently had job offers to teach at the university I do research at, and when I was given the offer, I was far less enthused about it all. I get paid well, the students get buried in debt, and I’ve even, at times, met with some of my professors and they’d say, “Oh, a paying customer. Come right in.”

      I change my behavior when I hear something like that. Oh, I’m being treated nice because I’m paying? And if I didn’t have money to pay for these expensive classes you wouldn’t give me the time of day? In a small way I’m grateful, but it’s not the world I’m wanting to live in.

      But you know, rationally I know communism doesn’t work. Take Youtube for instance. All these people upload content and bring billions of people in, Google selling tons of advertising. The content providers barely earn any of that money. It’s all “free”. Hardly. It leads to all sorts of e-begging, trying to sell t-shirt, and other stupid stuff.

      They’ve even started to create sites like Patreon (i think that’s its name), where people can pay so much money per video posted by their favorite youtube channels. Content providers are finally able to earn a steady income and provide even better content to their fanbase.

      I sit and think about it, and that’s way better than this semi-communist model where Google earns all the money and provides just a simple web-template and storage of the videos, yet earns all the money. Is that the real value? No. Not at all.

      My rational mind often sits off to the side and doesn’t listen to my emotional feelings at all. I’ve read books by Mises and Hayek and I realize capitalism’s virtues. I’m no communist. I’ve studied history. I’ve seen the Soviet Union. Let’s all just love one another and share! How’d that play out historically?

      I was listening to a lecture by Harvard psychologist Steven Pinker not too long ago. I think it was him. He was talking about how we make decisions emotionally and how that process doesn’t always lead to the best outcomes. He gave all sorts of examples, many of them very important to our welfare and society. I can’t remember them off the top of my head.

      The point I was trying to make to Alexey is that our emotional and rational decision making processes often conflict. It’s not black and white. Without love for our fellow men, the world will just fall apart. There has to be love underlying what we do. Passion, caring about the welfare of others. Doing things that benefit not only ourselves but others as well. But even love, you can take it too far.

      The law of reciprocity is probably the best way of doing things. People who don’t play fair and cheat the system should be shamed. Those who do what’s right should be rewarded.

  1. “What worries me is stopping human growth and progress”

    I think we’ve returned to Brave New World. People who want growth and progress live on islands. I guess 95 percent don’t care at all about these things. All they want is food, sex, drama — their everyday existence. They probably can’t even comprehend your smartass (hope that’s not offensive) admiration for the universe.

    I don’t see the difference between the guy who is “incredibly lazy, never applies himself, and has no education.” and homeless. Following your logic, I’d think they both need spiritual development — not prop ups from Big Brother.

    “I can stop growth and progress by eliminating all suffering”

    Or you can eliminate 99 percent of suffering and it will have exactly zero effect on science — because most people just don’t contribute. They suffer.

    Not sure if it’s okay to answer to the second comment, anyway:

    “The content providers barely earn any of that money.”

    ‘That’s really not true’. Although PewDie is special, thousands of people earn for a living creating videos for YouTube.

    “Without love for our fellow men, the world will just fall apart. There has to be love underlying what we do. Passion, caring about the welfare of others. Doing things that benefit not only ourselves but others as well. But even love, you can take it too far.”

    I didn’t say I’m against love. I just don’t consider people who were lucky enough to born stupid to be my “fellow men”. Also, I have almost no benefit for myself arguing with you 🙂

    1. Alexey,

      I think you’re right. We’re back to Brave New World. Maybe it’d be best to set up something similar to that society.

      As for the homeless man and the man who won’t apply himself, I don’t really know what’s right. I personally want a society where the homeless are clothed, well fed, and have a warm bed to sleep in. Nothing extravagant, but at least supply them with the basics, no matter who they are, or what life they’ve chosen to live. That really goes for anyone. We’re rich enough as a society to do that much.

      I want children to be taken care of. They shouldn’t be completely captive to their parents decisions. If a young child has terrible parents who completely neglect them, our schools should provide them with free lunches, textbooks, and all they need to succeed and grow.

      I also think things like basic medical care should always be available, regardless of who you are. We should provide the poor with dental care, insulin for diabetics, and any medications they need to live.

      Things like that. I don’t know what you think of those programs, but I prefer a society where there is a social safety net of some sort. We can argue the details, such as how comprehensive it is, but I want one to be in place.

      I’ve never seen the actual incomes of Youtubers before. This site is fascinating. They earn more than I expected. Many of the top youtubers are making millions a year. That’s not bad. I’ll have to think more about Youtube, and reassess my opinion on it.

      When I was discussing Google, I had in mind many of the things Jaron Lanier has pointed out about the digital world in his lectures. Like this video for example.

      I wish the internet was more decentralized. That’s how its inventors originally intended it. People were supposed to have their own servers, host their own content, and manage their own files. It was theirs. The traffic they bring in is theirs. Now everyone’s gravitating to these centralized services like Google, Facebook, and other sites. Everything’s moving to the cloud. That’s the wrong direction.

      Digital information is power. As that information centralizes and grows, those companies are going to become more and more powerful. They’ll wield greater and greater influence over all of us. It’s something I’ve been thinking about more recently, so my thoughts on the matter aren’t concrete yet.

      I’ll give you one example. A company like Walmart grows and builds huge databases of who buys what, based on geographic locations. People who buy this also buy that. And so they know exactly how to stock their shelves and can beat any local business price wise. They also build huge warehouse networks, fully automated by robots and AI. You can’t possibly compete. Then they come in, all the local stores go out of business, and then they don’t offer jobs that even pay a living wage. Wealth concentrates into fewer and fewer hands. We also have fewer shopping options.

      In our world, information is everything.

  2. Hello Jason,

    Just wanted to purpose some ideas.

    “We are descendants of dreams;
    We all belong to a single tribe of dreamers.” -R.Iyer

    “Why do men and women assume that because their categories, utterances and theories limit human consciousness, any difference is made to the vast energy-fields in the universe?” – R.Iyer

    “The Mind is the great Slayer of the Real.
    Let the Disciple slay the Slayer.

    For: —

    When to himself his form appears unreal, as do on waking all the forms he sees in dreams;

    When he has ceased to hear the many, he may discern the ONE — the inner sound which kills the outer.

    Then only, not till then, shall he forsake the region of Asat, the false, to come unto the realm of Sat, the true.” H.P.B.



    you?” – Cheshire-Cat

    ‘J’ says: “And what would you say about your life?”
    ‘E’ says: “I would say that No-Thing really happened at all”

    1. Everett,

      Long time no see. It’s nice to hear from you again.

      When I still my mind and simply observe life, without judgement or thought, underneath all experience I seem to sense this unchangeable, eternal grounding, which is the deepest essence of what I am. Maybe you’d call that the dreamer, the “one”? It has no absolute form or identity, but it seems capable of any form. For some reason, while I’m “dreaming” as you might call it, I’m temporarily locked into the form that you all know as “Jason”. That form, for the moment, is what most would call me.

      I can’t say I believe in death. Jason will go away. These thoughts and memories will go away. But the eternal now is always ongoing. If something happens after death, it’d happen for me instantaneously. I’m guessing there will be an abrupt change of some sort, probably not unlike when we go to sleep and then wake the next day. A new dream beginning perhaps? I have no knowledge of what may happen.

      As for whether the external world is real or not, a dream or not, I have no idea. I give the same level of reality to thought as I do the external world. They’re both of the same order — experiences the great eternal dreamer is having.

      I think you’re correct in saying we’re No-Thing. There’s no particular “thing” we’re experiencing which you can say we are. Not even our bodies or brains. I take consciousness to be the ultimate grounding. We can’t step outside ourselves and say, “Ah ha! This is me!” No, you are you. You are not “this” or “that”. How can you say you’re your brain, like you stepped outside of yourself, point to one object you’re experiencing and say, “This is me.” What about the other objects and things you’re experiencing?

      But you go a step further and say No-Thing happened at all. Einstein didn’t believe in the objective reality of time. In his thinking, consciousness moves through this eternal fabric of space-time, and that’s what we’re experiencing as life. When a friend died, he comforted a loved one by saying don’t worry, time is just an illusion. It exists within us, the dreamer, not in reality.

      I’m undecided about what time may be. I experience it, and in a way that is enough. Thinking and trying to define it all can take away from our experience of life, mainly in that it’s a narrowing of our attention. We focus on these inner sounds, words, and symbols bouncing around in our heads. Maybe that’s what you mean when you say that mind is the slayer of the real? Still, I enjoy solving puzzles and working on things. Trying to figure out what’s going on in everyday events. At one point I was hoping it’d lead to the ultimate truth of the universe, but nowadays it’s become an interesting game to me. But I do agree with your quotation that all our theories and words are limited, and if compared to the true vastness of the universe, are pitiful and inadequate.

      Part of me wants to say that we have no idea what we are. Another part of me thinks there’s nothing to know and that an experience of the “now” is self-contained. There’s nothing to be said. Words can only compare things to one another, but at some point the experiences themselves stand-alone.

      When I hear from you, I think you’re just as real as I am. If we’re dreaming, we’re doing so together. It’s nice to be in good company. If I dreamed all of you up, I have quite an imagination, but I don’t give myself that much credit.

      Well dream-girl, I hope you stay around and talk with us all more. By the way, who is R. Iyer? I searched for him or her, and didn’t find anything.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *